


conflicted feelings

by masuzu



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkward Romance, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 09:49:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13408695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masuzu/pseuds/masuzu
Summary: this dinner date could either go well or potentially awkward.





	conflicted feelings

**Author's Note:**

> im alive! yeahh, here, have this mess of a fic. my writing skills got worst than usual whew
> 
> srry if the characters are ooc since it's a while ive played tox2 oops but i love jurudo sm...and heck, there's so much cliches here im soRRY

"Ludger!" Elle exclaims, after bursting into the apartment out of nowhere. Rollo hisses, startled from his bed.

"What's wrong, Elle?" Ludger pauses his stirring of the tomato soup he was currently making and turns to Elle, who was staring at him quite intensely.

"I've decided to make sure you get a date!" Elle declares and Ludger just raises an eyebrow.

"A date?" He muses as he goes back to stirring his soup.

"Yeah! Operation: Get Ludger and Jude Together!"

Ludger's posture turns stiff and he hears a chuckle from Julius, who was sitting by the dinner table and reading the newspaper.

"Elle, please, no," Ludger says, weakly.

"More like, Elle, please, yes!" She corrects him and crosses her arms with a triumphant smile on her face. "I knew it, you like Jude!"

"Yes, but that's not the point--" Ludger starts.

Elle rolls her eyes. "Ok, so why wait in telling your feelings? Some other girl is going to get him! And then-- and then--" She gasps in horror. "It will turn into a love triangle and Jude will end up liking her back, leaving you all alone!"

Ludger turns to point an accusatory stare at Julius. "You've been letting her watch soap dramas, haven't you?"

"I can neither confirm or deny," Julius answers with a hint of a sly smile and Ludger sighs.

"Anyways, so lemme be the matchmaker," Elle says, enthusiastically. "I promise I'll be the best matchmaker ever!"

"Elle, that is something a child, like you, shouldn't be involved in certain circumstances," Ludger chides gently. "That is part of a grown up's problem."

"Yeah, and a grown up like you can't admit your feelings," Elle retorts. "Don't worry, Ludger. I am the master of this."

Ludger isn't sure if this is a bright idea.

.

"Alright, I'm done!" Elle nods as she puts her pencil down and Ludger glances at her. "I've written all the things I know." She holds her little notebook to give him a look. He looks at the page of scribbles and sees a couple of drawings underneath.

Operation: Get Ludger and Jude Together

1\. Get Jude a gift. I don't know what type of gift but as long as you get him anything, he should be happy. Right?  
2\. Give him flowers!!! A must!!!  
3\. Ask him out on a date. Dinner date with candles??  
4\. Tell him that you love him!!!

Underneath the scribbles is a drawing of Ludger (he assumes the stick person is him) and an arrow pointing to a drawing of Jude (he thinks it's Jude) with the "love" word on top. The arrow then points from Jude to Ludger with a "?" on top. Then, another arrow points to four stick people, each with different hairstyles with a "maybe like?? or just friends??".

"Oh, that's supposed to be Milla, Leia, Muzet, and Elize," Elle explains as she points to the four stick people.

"Elle, I still don't think this is a good idea," Ludger gently tells her and Elle just puffs up her cheeks in indignance.

"But come on, Ludger, I wanna do something good for you."

"I appreciate it, Elle, but I think I'd rather stay friends with Jude," Ludger continues.

"Did you just...friend-zoned him?" Elle asks in shock.

"Wait, where did you learn that word? I knew it, watching all those romance dramas was bad." Ludger rubs the bridge of his noise.

"Please, Ludger? Just give it a try?" Elle pleads and Ludger heaves a sigh.

"But, Elle--"

"Pleeeeeeease?"

"A-alright, fine," Ludger says, begrudgingly, and he knows he can't say 'no' to Elle. Damn him for being a softie.

"Alright!" Elle cheers and her eyes glitters with excitement. "I won't let you down, Ludger!"

.

"Here, Ludger."

Elle hands Ludger a small box and he takes it, raising an eyebrow.

"What's this?"

"Open it," she urges and he does as he takes off the lid of the box to reveal a...black earpiece?

"What is this for?" Ludger inquires as he lifts it up to examine it.

"You put it on before you go meet Jude on a date," Elle responds. "I will be telling you instructions from this device here." She holds up a walkie talkie.

"Elle..." Ludger gives her a look.

"What?" Elle asked, defensively.

Ludger continues staring at her. Elle stares back, not wanting to lose. He continues staring. She makes a noise as she breaks the staring contest, feeling Ludger's eyes burning into her.

"Elle," Ludger says again.

"I'm sorry, Julius has been letting me watch spy movies too," Elle concedes, a slight look of guilt on her face. "They were good, especially the action scenes. All those spy thingies they used were cool."

"Were they at least kid-friendly?" Ludger asks. "I mean, I don't think spy movies and soap dramas are kid-friendly but I hope."

"It's ok, Julius makes sure it is," Elle reassures him and he releases out a breath of relief.

"Ok, but isn't it way too much? Those equipment and you relaying instructions to me?"

"I have to make sure you don't mess up," Elle insists. "You suck at romance. Besides, it's a girl's dream to enact a scene from a spy movie. The least I can do it act like one of those people giving orders to agents behind lots of and lots of screens."

"I don't think that's a girl's dream these days..."

"Don't sweat the small stuff," Elle pouts. "Anyway, we gotta decide on a gift for Jude. What does he like?"

"How about a lab coat for him?" Ludger suggests.

"Hmm, a lab coat..." Elle looks thoughtful for a moment. "Isn't he wearing one right now?"

"Yeah, but maybe he needs more?" Ludger shrugs.

"Alright, put that on the checklist!" Elle chirps. "Anything else?"

"There's more?"

"Of course, gotta shower him with gifts!" Elle nods quickly. "I'd love it if someone gives me lots of presents! It's like Christmas!"

"Hmm, err, a scarf and gloves?" Ludger says lamely because honestly, he just don't know what to give to Jude.

"That might not be too bad," Elle ponders the suggestion. "Winter is sorta coming up so Jude might need it. Good job, Ludger!"

"Thanks?"

"Okay, next, flowers!" It's so romantic when someone gives you flowers."

"What kind of flowers?" Ludger asks.

"Roses?"

"Roses?!" Ludger turns slightly red. "Wouldn't he know that I'm interested in him?"

"...isn't that the whole point?" Elle says with a deadpan look. "You're asking him on a date. You're en...enamored with him!" With that, Elle looks proud after finishing her sentence. "That's right, I know and learned how to say this word. I'm growing up."

Ludger ruffles her hair which earns a cry of protest from Elle. "Glad to see you're learning words."

"I'm not a child anymore," Elle puffs up her cheeks. "Ok, backtrack to the the topic. Just at least give him some good flowers that have some meaning, maybe."

"Okay."

"And now, you're gonna ask him out!" Elle yells, excitedly, and Ludger can only anticipate on what's going to happen soon.

(He tried to call Jude via GHS but chickened out. Elle was not amused.)

.

"Ludger, hey, it's been a while."

A familiar voice makes the said man turn around and smile in greeting. "Hey, Jude. What're you doing here in Trigleph?"

"Thought I'd visit some familiar places," Jude answers. "Sometimes, working can get a bit stuffy."

"Cool, at least the research is progressing smoothly, I assume?"

"Yeah," Jude nods, excitedly. "A future of spyrix technology. Who would've thought? I wouldn't believed it years ago but here we are."

"Yup, pretty amazing," Ludger agrees.

"Is Elle and Julius doing fine?" Jude asks.

"They are," Ludger answers and suddenly, a thought strikes him. _Wouldn't this be the perfect chance to ask him for dinner?_

"Hey, uh, Jude?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you like to..." Ludger swallows thickly and Jude looks at him, head slightly cocked. Oh man, his eyes are so pretty--wait, that's not what you're supposed to be doing right now, looking at his eyes.

Screw it.

"Liketogotodinnerwithme?" He finishes too quickly and Jude blinks, confusion evident in his eyes.

"Pardon?"

Oh, Lord of Spirits. Don't tell him that Ludger was supposed to repeat that. Oh, yes, he has to.

"Would you like to go out for dinner with me?" Ludger repeats and he's turning a bit red.

"Oh!" Jude's eyes widens momentarily. He shuffles his feet and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his coat. "Uh..."

"No, I meant as friends, you know, not as in a date, just hanging out..." Ludger rambles and he wants to dig a hole and crawl in it. Damn it, he just made things awkward and ruined a chance to confess by denying it as a date. Two birds, one stone.

"S-sure," Jude looks shy for some reason. "When will that be?"

"When will you be free?"

"Tomorrow, I think," Jude responds. "I have some plans here today, sorry."

"Oh, it's alright," Ludger immediately says. "So, uh, would 6 be agreeable for you?"

Jude nods and Ludger swears that Jude's cheeks looks oddly pink but maybe that was the sun playing tricks on his eyes.

"I'll meet you in front of your apartment, if that's okay?" Jude requests and Ludger nods. Jude smiles and he, himself, nodded too. "Okay, so, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you," Ludger waves at him and watches Jude walks off.

.

"I feel like I messed up," Ludger groans.

Elle pats him on the back, comfortingly. "Ludger, I'm sure you didn't mess up anything."

"Is my little brother having love problems again?" Julius jokes. "Never thought I'd see you like this since several years since Nova rejected you."

"Please don't remind me," Ludger puts his face into his hands.

"Glasses guy, Ludger is having an existing crisis, I think," Elle says. "I've seen it a lot of shows."

"I'm assuming you mean existential crisis, Elle, but I don't think Ludger is having that," Julius says.

"What is the meaning of my life if I don't properly confess?" Ludger mutters. "What is the purpose of my existence? Is it never to find love?"

"I retract my previous statement, Ludger certainly looks like he's having it right now," Julius raises an eyebrow.

"Ugh, stop moping around," Elle scolds. "Don't be negative! C'mon, we've got gifts and flowers to buy for Jude!"

"Yeah," Ludger says, weakly.

Julius can only chuckle at the situation that his little brother is going through as he watches an excited Elle drags Ludger out of the apartment.

.

"I can't believe I'm letting you do this," Ludger mutters as he looks at the bouquet of flowers in one hand and a wrapped gift in the other. He gets a laugh in response from the earpiece.

"Alright, commence operation: Get Ludger and Jude Togther. Are you ready, Agent L?"

"Ready as ever be, I guess."

"Good! Is--Rollo, don't touch the walkie-talkie!" Elle scolds and he hears a "meow".

Ludger then spots Jude, running up to him, slightly frazzled.

"Sorry, the trains were..." Jude breathes heavily. "...delayed because of some problems. I had to run here and oh no, am I late?"

Ludger shakes his head and gives Jude a reassuring smile.

"Give him the flowers and gift!" Elle commands.

"I was about to do that," Ludger answers and shows him the bouquet of flowers, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Here, for you."

"Wow, thanks, Ludger," Jude gingerly takes the bouquet and smiles.

Ludger then hands over the wrapped gift and Jude takes it, too, eyes wide. "You didn't have to get me these."

"I have to," Ludger says.

"I appreciate it," Jude says, earnestly, and his cheeks are slightly red. He gives a nervous laugh as he looks at the items in his arms. "My arms are kinda full...So, uh, where are we going to eat?"

"There's a high class restaurant I reserved and it's only a short distance away," Ludger replies and he silently thanks Julius for reserving the restaurant for him. The duo began walking to their destination.

"Oh, wow, that's amazing," Jude says. "You really got prepared, huh?"

"Yeah."

A short while later, they arrive at one of Trigleh's high class restaurant and Jude looks nervous as he stares at the restaurant exterior. "Oh, I feel a bit conscious that I didn't dress up fancy. This certainly screams high-class, that's for sure."

"Sorry, I didn't tell you about where we're eating," Ludger apologizes. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Oh no, it's alright, Ludger," Jude hastily says. "I'm happy that I'm spending time with you here."

Ludger could feel his heart beating faster at the statement but Jude probably meant as friends hanging out. Yeah, that.

"Okay, let's go in."

He enters the building, holding the door for Jude, and goes up to the front desk to inform the person who was working there.

"Ludger Will Kresnik, reserved at 6:30."

The person nods as she types away on her computer and peers at Ludger. Her glance then lands on Jude who was standing next to him and she smiles. "Confirmed. Thank you for reserving and I sincerely hope you two have a wonderful evening."

They both thank her as then, they were being led by a waiter who guides them near the back of the restaurant to a table of two. The waiter places the menus on the table and whisks away.

Ludger sits on one side of the table while Jude places the gift and flowers in a safe spot and slides in on the opposite of Ludger's seat.

"It's finally here, the dinner!" Elle cheers and Rollo meows with her.

"I was wondering where have you gone. You've been silent for a while," Ludger ducks his head and whispers.

"I was eating dinner," Elle answers. "I can't skip dinner."

"What kind of operator are you to leave me behind?" Ludger teases and he feels Jude's confused look on him. He straightens and gives a nervous chuckle. "So, we should decide on our meals, yes?"

"I bet you're gonna decide on some tomato meal," Elle snickers.

"I'll try not to. I want to try out other dishes."

Ludger ends up ordering tomato a la mode and a tomato omelette.

 _Goddamnit, Ludger_ , he chides to himself.

Jude orders a tofu miso soup and minestrone.

"Good choices," Ludger comments.

"Ah, really? I just ordered my favorite," Jude comments. "Milla recommended me the minestrone but I never had the chance to try it out so I thought this would be the perfect chance."

Elle gasps. "Does he have feelings for Milla?"

"Elle, that doesn't really mean that--" Ludger begins to say in a hushed tone.

"I miss her," Jude looks wistful and Ludger stops mid-sentence. Oh shit. What if Jude really got feelings for Milla? Maybe he ought to give up.

"Okay, maybe this isn't a date but just two dudes hanging out," Ludger sighs.

"Don't give up!" Elle encourages.

"Ludger, you should really stop being so negative."

Ludger makes a choking noise and Jude looks concerned.

"Are you alright, Ludger?"

Ludger gives a thumbs up sign as he pivots his body to avoid Jude hearing him. "Julius?!"

"That's me." And Julius laughs. "I was curious to see the development and it makes me happy to see my little brother grow up. I thought you'll never be able to find a partner."

Ludger feels embarrassed at his words but the next sentences makes him appreciate Julius as a brother.

"Now, Ludger, don't assume things. Just because things might not seem to go in your way, you just can't give up. Do your best, Ludger, and you know I am proud of you."

"Geez, I'm getting a deja vu here."

"And, Ludger, if you do get rejected, me and glasses guy will be there for you!" Elle exclaims.

"Elle, don't assume Ludger will get rejected," Julius says. "Anyhow, I do hope you enjoy your dinner with Jude. Don't let this chance slip away, I believe in you."

"Elle yeah!"

"Well, have fun, Ludger, and Elle, I'm turning the walkie-talkie off," Julius says.

"Huh? Wait, no, glasses guy, please!" Elle protests.

"Sorry, Elle, let Ludger have his moment."

"What? But I want to see this through!" Elle whines.

"I think you did more than enough."

"Aww, come on!" Elle groans and Rollo chimes in with a "meow".

"Oh boy, I wonder how in the world she came up with that idea?" Julius mirthfully asks before there was a click noise and Ludger hears static for several moments before going silent.

 _Probably your doing_ , Ludger thinks.

"Is everything alright? You've been silent for some time," Jude states. "And were you speaking to somebody?"

"Everything's fine and dandy," Ludger shoots Jude a bright smile and Jude can only make a 'huh...' noise before finishing off his soup.

This is so awkward. This isn't going well, ugh...Ludger thoughts to himself as they finish their dinner in silence. He unconsciously exhales a sigh of disappointment and Jude notices it.

"Sorry, am I being a bad dinner partner? Yeah, I know. I don't know what to talk about, haha..."

Ludger rapidly shakes his head. "No, no, of course not. It's my fault." He the notices a small spot of sauce near Jude's lips and points to the right side of his own lips. "Hey, there's something on your face."

"What, really? Where?" Jude mirrors Ludger's action, his finger pointing at his left side.

"No, over here." Without thinking, Ludger leans across the table and swipes his thumb over the area to get rid of the sauce. He sits back down into his seat to show Jude for several moments. "See?" He then licks his thumb and notes it was a pretty good sauce.

Jude doesn't immediately reply as he's staring shell-shocked at Ludger, cheeks red. Ludger, bewildered, stares back, wondering if he did something wro-- Oh. Ohhh. His own face blazes hot.

 _That was cliché as hell!!_ Ludger internally screams at himself. That's what he sees nearly all the time in romance shows or novels and he can't believe he just did that.

"Are you done with your dinner?" He speaks up quickly in order to quickly divert this atmosphere to another and Jude nods as he snaps out of his stupor. "Wanna order dessert? Or do you want to get going?"

Jude refuses with a simple shake of his head and gathers his belongings before standing up. "I'm full, thank you. I think a simple walk will help me."

"Alright, let me just pay the bill." Ludger checks the receipt before laying the right amount of gald onto a little plate. He then stands up as well and they both leave the restaurant, prompting a "thank you for dining!" from the waiters before they left.

"I'll walk back with you to the apartment if you want," Jude offers.

"I'd like that, thank you," Ludger says, appreciating Jude's offer.

"It was the least I can do."

The two walks in silence and Ludger desperately need to start a conversation. Otherwise, the night will end up in him not confessing.

"Do you love Milla?"

The question escapes his lips before Ludger even realizes. Jude looks surprised at his question and he stops in his tracks.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want, forgive me!" Ludger hurriedly says.

"No, it's fine," Jude shakes his head and smiles. "Milla, huh?"

Ludger looks at Jude and then turns his gaze to the night sky.

"I loved her. I wanted to be of use to Milla so I helped her and..." Jude laughs. "...I was a fugitive. Never thought I'd be a fugitive at the age of 15. I wondered what my parents think."

"Loved?"

"Err, yes, loved. But over the course of the travels, I loved her even more," Jude's cheeks turns red. "So sometime later, I confessed to her and naturally, I got turned down. I asked her 'why' and 'was it because I'm a human and she's a spirit?' but she just said that 'she only thought me as one of her first human friends and she doesn't feel the same way'."

"Ouch. Uh, sorry."

Jude snorts. "It's alright, it was a year ago. I'm over it. I'm actually thankful she turned me down because now, she's my precious friend and nothing can change that."

"And then?"

"Then, I met you," Jude grins. "I'm really glad to have met you, Ludger. And going on the journey with you really proves it and sure we all encountered some rough problems, but we all made it in the end."

"I feel the same way, Jude. I'm also glad to have met you and I could always count on you to watch my back," Ludger smiles.

"Yeah!" Jude nods but then he scratches his cheek with a finger. "Haha, sorry, went off on a tangent there but uh..." His face turns red. "Anyways, the point is I don't love Milla now and now, I love you."

It takes Ludger several seconds to register what Jude had just said and his eyes widens. "Wait, what?!"

Jude's lips quirks into an amused smile. "You should've seen your face but yeah, I do. What's your answer?"

Ludger runs his hand through his hair. "Yeesh, I thought you love Milla so it was eating me away. I thought I should just give up..."

"Sorry about that," Jude winces.

"Nah, s'okay. But, I do love you too," Ludger confesses, heat rushing to his face. He feels like a teenager again who doesn't know anything about love. "I wasn't sure if I wanted to confess since ya know..."

"I was happy that you invited me yesterday. I thought it was date but--" Jude pauses and smirks. "You immediately denied it and that crushed my hopes."

"I thought you didn't feel the same way as me. I wasn't even sure if you were even interested!" Ludger protests.

"I was just teasing, Ludger," Jude snickers.

Ludger playfully rolls his eyes and lightly elbows Jude in the ribs. "Don't tease me like that."

"So, uh..." Jude pipes up, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Hmm?"

"Are we...dating now?" Jude asks.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Ludger nods, feeling awkward.

"T-that's good." Jude breaks into a smile, cheeks red.

"So, uh, can I, like, kiss you or something?" Ludger nearly whispers his question, heartbeat beating quickly.

"Yes, please," Jude whispers back and Ludger immediately kisses Jude. The bouquet and the wrapped gift drops to the floor as Jude's arms wraps around Ludger's neck and kisses back with equal fervor. They pull part after several moments, both of them with faces red as a tomato.

"So, what do we do once we're in a relationship?" Ludger raises a question.

"...I have no idea," Jude admits.

"Guess we both suck at romance, huh?" Ludger quirks a smile. "And, hey, we're actually at my apartment."

"Oh, I didn't notice that," Jude states as he looks at the building they were in front in.

"...should we tell him that we're, you know, official?"

"Hmm, let's."

.

"Julius, me and Jude are dating now," Ludger announces and Jude squeezes his hand to comfort him.

At the sound of this, Elle whoops loudly and furiously tugs at Julius' arm. "You hear that, Julius!? Oh my gosh!"

"Yup, heard it crystal clear," Julius' lips curves. "Congratulations, Ludger and Jude. I'm very happy for both of you."

"It's all thanks to me, of course," Elle shows off a smug smile.

"Thank you, Elle," Ludger ruffles Elle's hair which of course earns him a protest from her.

" 'm not a kid," she grumbles and crosses her arms.

"Ludger, this may be sudden but I want to have a word with you," Julius stands up and motions his little brother to follow him.

"Huh? Oh, sure," Ludger nods, confused. He turns to Jude, who was talking with Elle, and gives a quick "be right back". Jude gives him an 'ok' sign back and continues his conversation with Elle about...cats?

Ludger follows Julius into the other room and sees Julius sitting on the chair. He slowly plops himself onto the bed, wondering what made Julius looked so serious.

"Alright, Ludger, I never actually told you this but I feel like this is the time..." Julius looks serious and Ludger can only raise an eyebrow.

"I believe it's time for me to give you...the Talk."

"Julius, no!" Ludger can only yell, mortified. "I'm an adult and I know what I'm capable of!"

"Yes, but can I not show concern for my little brother who's in a relationship?" Julius sighs.

"But not like this..." Ludger raises his hand to cover his face, feeling humiliated.

"Remember, if you need anything, let me know. Let's see, ah, yes, things like con--"

"Oh my god, Julius!"


End file.
